onlytobenormal | de-aged [For samefivealbums]

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de-aged [For samefivealbums]

When Sam woke, it was in a bed that wasn't his own and without his dad or brother in sight... needless to say, there was a lot of freaking out. He fumbled out of bed and went looking through the apartment he was in... only to find a dog and not much else. Nothing that would tell him where he was anyway or where Dad or Dean was, when they'd be back.

He even got desperate enough to grab the phone and try their numbers... only to find them no longer in use which was just... even weirder. Now he was even more worried.

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Never. Dean would never hurt Sam or do anything bad to him. Not this Sam. Even Dean wasn't that sick.

He wrapped his arms around Sam tightly and rested his chin on Sam's shoulder. Dean wasn't angry with Sam. Not even at the thought his brother might have been seriously disgusted by this. It wasn't something he should be okay with. Hell, just ask Dad.

Dean closed his eyes and allowed himself one moment of comfort. "It'll be okay, Sammy. I promise."

Sam let his body slump against Dean's and just let himself hold on for now. "You're big," he grumbled half-heartedly. Felt more like hugging Dad than Sam... not that he hugged Dad all that often anymore. God, he felt tired now, exhausted in so many ways.

He nodded at those words, letting himself believe them. Things hadn't seemed bad from what he'd seen. He was in college and apparently, they had friends and a normal life. It was just... this thing between them.

"It's not- just because you're selfish or whatever, Dean," he muttered finally, torn between squirming closer and pulling away. "I've... kinda thought about stuff before-- just." Not sex exactly. At this age, Sam was just thrilled to have gotten a kiss from a pretty girl. He wasn't really thinking about sex, even if his brother kept insisting it was the greatest thing ever. He was sure it was, but he also wasn't making any plans on it happening for him anytime soon.

"Don't be pissed." He didn't think this Dean would be, but it had been way too hard to get those words out without feeling like a freak to have Dean blow up at him too.

Dean rubbed slow, careful circles against Sam's back with one hand. Wanted to give him plenty of time to tell him to stop if he wanted to. He just thought Sam needed some comfort, too. This all had to be a nightmare for the kid.

"Gotta be big to contain all this awesome, you know," he answered half-heartedly. Awesome was the last thing he felt like right now.

"And I'm not pissed at you, Sammy. Not even a little bit." He tightened his arms a little, giving a little squeeze. "Can't be pissed at you for any of this."

Sam didn't want him to. The touches were soothing and familiar at least and he just found himself relaxing even further against his brother.

"Then I'm more awesome with as big as I get." That was still totally cool.

"Good." He gave a nod, squeezing in return and tipped his head in against Dean's shoulder, just resting there. "I don't want you to be, man."

Dean breathed a small sigh of relief when Sam settled and relaxed against him. He wouldn't have been able to handle it if Sam had been too afraid to get close to him. "Yeah, you're pretty awesome, dude."

Instinctively, he rocked a little, hanging on to Sam and letting his brother rest against him. "I'm always going to love you, whatever happens. Always going to have your back."

"I love you too, Dean." The rocking was a little kiddish and he kind of wanted to point it out, but at least Dean seemed to be calming down from earlier. He didn't want to wreck that.

The rocking was more for Dean than Sam, honestly. His current calm was being maintained by force of will alone. Any little comfort he could find, he was going to take right now, if it meant not freaking out in front of Sam. He could do that later, after the kid was asleep.

"You about ready for bed, Sammy? Think I've traumatized you enough for one day."

He snorted at that and rubbed his cheek against Dean's shoulder lightly, pressing in a little closer to his brother. "Guess so." He hesitated a moment. He still wasn't sure what to think about all this, if he should be mad at Dean or himself or... it was too weird to just accept.

But he didn't think there was any way he was sleeping soundly tonight and Dean was the only familiar face around. "Can you stay with me? You know, for a little while."

He felt stupid and kiddish for that, but... the alternate was sitting awake with Ozzy for company. Ozzy was great, but he didn't make very good conversation.

"Sure, Sammy." Dean didn't mind sitting with him. Focusing on Sam kept his mind off himself and he really, really didn't want to think about himself right now. If he could just focus on taking care of Sam right now, maybe he'd have time to get past this hysteria trying to strangle him from the inside out.

Letting go was hard. Dean's arm's didn't want to unwind. Slowly, he forced himself to let go.

"C'mon. Go get ready for bed. I'll be in in a minute." Better to let Sam change and crawl in before he went in to find clothes to sleep in.

"Okay..." Reluctantly, he shifted away from Dean and headed into the bedroom to get changed into pajamas. It was almost daunting to even look at that bed knowing what must happen in it with Dean. He put the thoughts out of his head before he crawled up under the covers and got settled in.

He couldn't help worrying he'd wrecked this... whatever his life had become. Part of him thought maybe he shouldn't be sorry, it was weird. Another part was just freaking out over what to do if he remembered all this, if he should do what Dean said and not let him spend the night... or at least not give Dean the chance to make a move.

But why would Dean have made a move in the first place and-- He let out a frustrated noise and huddled under the covers a little further, face half-buried against a pillow.

Dean gave him time to get settled, then he followed in behind him. He grabbed a t-shirt and a pair of sweat pants to change into, then disappeared into the bathroom to do it. It felt weird doing all these precautions, but Dean couldn't make himself do anything else right now. Had to keep that space.

When he came out, he stepped over and stretched out on his side of the bed. He reached over and carefully put a hand on Sam's back, starting up those slow circles again.

Sam sighed at those touches, relaxing a little bit. For awhile, he just laid there, not sure what to say or do right now, but he did eventually look back at Dean. "Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, sure dude." Dean wasn't too sure the answer would win him any points, whatever it was, but at this point he couldn't really fuck things up any worse, right? Hopefully...

He shifted a little bit, turning to face Dean. "Would you want to change any of this if you could? Between us, I mean." He'd assume Dean would want to change people finding out or whatever else had gone wrong.

"Just the stuff between us? No, not really. It's... we both know it's not normal or whatever, but we're both happy. If I thought for a second that you were unhappy with it, I'd end it right there, but..." He trailed off and shrugged. Every out he'd tried to give Sam had been refused. Sam didn't seem to want this to end any more than Dean did.

"Hm..." He nodded at that answer, not really sure what to say any more than he was earlier. He did scoot a little closer though, relaxing a little bit. "Good night, Dean."

"Night, Sammy." Since his brother moved closer, Dean figured he hadn't completely alienated him yet. He reached up and brushed Sam's hair back softly. His hand kept stroking Sam's hair softly, hopefully helping him settle in to sleep.

Sam let out a soft sigh at the hand through his hair, relaxing under the soothing gesture. He pressed in closer in response. There was so much running through his mind that he hadn't thought it would be possible to fall asleep, but eventually he did.

Dean stayed there a while stroking Sam's hair soothingly and watching him sleep. He seemed calm and relaxed, at least for now. After he was sure Sam was okay, Dean pulled his hand back and softly called Ozzy over. He left the puppy snuggled up to his brother and got up, heading into the living room to have a drink... or four... and sleep on the couch.

Sam woke up pretty disoriented. It was like he'd been asleep way too long. Maybe kind of like one hell of a hangover, but he didn't remember drinking at all the night before. Not beyond the usual beer or two. He rubbed a hand over his face and sat up, checking the time. "Dean? Hey..."

Didn't know if he'd be at work yet or not. Hopefully there was coffee made either way.

Ozzy was still in the bed with him, but that wasn't too odd. Sometimes the pup sneaked up there after Dean left for work, if Sam was still asleep. He gave him a quick pet and called him to follow him into the kitchen.

Dean was sacked out on the couch. He laid face down with one arm over his head and the other flung out off the side of the couch. That hand was still wrapped loosely around an almost empty bottle of whiskey. One drink had turned into four, and into six or seven... he'd lost track. He hadn't meant to and he was going to kick his own ass for it when he woke up, but right now he was snoring softly. Dead to the world.

Okay, so Ozzy in bed with him could be no big deal. The pup liked to sneak in when there was enough room. Dean falling asleep on the couch, with a bottle of Jack for company was a sight he hadn't seen in awhile. It didn't mean anything good for the most part. Going over to the couch, he reached down for the bottle and shook Dean lightly.

"Hey, man, wake up."

"Ugh?" Dean woke slow and sluggish. His head was pounding and his mouth tasted like dirty socks. Jesus fuck. What the hell had he done last night?

Then he remembered. Then he wanted to puke. Before his stomach turned completely, his brain registered the sound of Sam's voice. His Sam. "Sammy?"

"Yeah..." He tilted his head, looking down at Dean. "What's going on here, dude?"

Dean sat up dizzily and stared at Sam for a few long minutes. It was his Sam. Dean was hit by twin measures of sadness and relief. He was going to miss little Sam, but after last night, he wasn't sure how he'd have looked the kid in the eye again.

This Sam, on the other hand, looked confused. "You don't remember?"

de-aged [For samefivealbums]

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