onlytobenormal | de-aged [For samefivealbums]

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de-aged [For samefivealbums]

When Sam woke, it was in a bed that wasn't his own and without his dad or brother in sight... needless to say, there was a lot of freaking out. He fumbled out of bed and went looking through the apartment he was in... only to find a dog and not much else. Nothing that would tell him where he was anyway or where Dad or Dean was, when they'd be back.

He even got desperate enough to grab the phone and try their numbers... only to find them no longer in use which was just... even weirder. Now he was even more worried.

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"I..." He trailed off, trying to think back. It wasn't very clear though and made his head ache even worse trying to think about it right now. "It's not too clear," he finally admitted. No reason to lie, especially if he missed something important.

"Did I do something?" He didn't remember any fights with Dean either. He had that creepy feeling that he was missing some time though.

"You? No, you didn't do anything. It's complicated..." God, was it ever complicated. He rubbed his face with both hands and tried to decide what to say or do. Difficult to do with his head pounding like it was. Fuck. "I'm gonna grab a shower. Do me a favor and call my bar. Tell 'em I caught your bug and I'm gonna stay home today?"

He pushed himself to his feet and wobbled a little. "Better call yours, too, and let them know you're feeling better. You probably should go in for a few hours today. Told 'em you had strep throat."

"Dean?" Okay, now he was worried. Strep throat, huh? Okay, so he was missing some time. He needed- God, he needed a minute to think, try to figure it out. "Yeah, okay. I'll do that, Dean."

He reached out to touch Dean's shoulder when he got up to go to the bathroom, just-- to touch and see if he could or comfort. Something. Sam wasn't feeling very comfortable here... he really didn't ever feel all that safe anymore, even with all the protection they put on their apartment, even with everything else they did to stay safe after that demon incident. Stuff like this could still happen, apparently.

He shrugged it off for now though. Better to let Dean deal with his hangover and get a call into both their jobs. He didn't exactly feel like going in today though... damn, but better to not miss too much work.

It was probably good Sam didn't remember. Even thought Dean would probably end up telling him the whole truth anyway, it would be easier on him if he didn't remember the exact feeling, probably. Hopefully. Ugh, Dean didn't want to think about it.

And since he was expecting it, he didn't flinch or shrug out of the hand on his shoulder, even though he wanted to. Didn't want Sam to think he'd done something wrong, particularly when the lion's share of the blame was pretty squarely on Dean. He gave his brother a crooked smile. "Thanks. Be out in a few."

Dean headed into the bathroom and started the water to let it heat up while he stripped. He smelled like a liquor store and felt like nine miles of bad road. Once he was under the water, he tipped his forehead against the wall of the shower and let the water beat down on him a while. God, he didn't want to have the conversation that was coming.

He put in a call to Dean's work and let them know he was sick and he'd be staying in and called to his own job--after checking what day it was and his schedule. Thankfully, he didn't have to come in until the afternoon... that gave him some time to get his bearings, maybe see if Dean was alright.

For now, he got on making some coffee and breakfast. Didn't know if Dean was hungry, but it gave him something to do. Sitting around worrying and trying to come up with conclusions on his own didn't help. A little started to clear up in his head anyway...

He could remember coming back home a couple days ago, feeling-- off. Remembered going to bed for a nap. He could even remember waking up, hazily and confused. He couldn't remember more beyond that though. It was all foggy and driving him crazy since, apparently, something had fucked with Dean. Possibly him.

Dean spent as much time in the shower as he could without being too suspicious. Then he forced himself to get out and dry off. He brushed his teeth and hair, got dressed, and tried to feel human as he wandered back out into the kitchen in search of Sam.

"Get a hold of them?"

"Yeah. I don't have to go in until later though." He looked over at Dean, not entirely sure how to act. It'd help if he knew what the problem was and if he should be apologizing even if Dean insisted he hadn't done anything.

"Got bacon and eggs on... bet you've got one hell of a hangover, huh?" And a greasy breakfast was usually the first thing Dean went for besides coffee.

It was a good thing Sam didn't try to apologize. Dean wouldn't have been able to handle that. Not with as guilty as he was feeling right now. Guilty, sick, and wrong. He nodded at the question and meandered over to the coffee pot to get it going. "Yeah, thanks."

He fiddled with the machine to start it brewing and then leaned his forehead against the cabinet above it, eyes closed. "Feel like there's a marching band going in my head. You feel okay?"

"Well, nearly a bottle of whiskey will do that to you, dude." He tried for a smile, starting to plate their food... and Dean should be glad! He cooked without burning anything... he was learning.

"I'm alright... my head kinda hurts still." He paused as he went to set the table. "So, you want to talk about what's going on?"

Dean was glad! Sam was getting better and the food did look good. Good thing, too. He wasn't sure his stomach could handle burnt bacon this morning.

Did he want to talk? No way, but he knew if he didn't, Sam would just assume the worst. Another demon attack or something. Dean sighed and shrugged a little. "You ran into another curse somewhere. When I left for work, you were fine. When I came home..."

Another shrug. "You were eleven? Maybe twelve years old?"

"What-" He turned to give Dean a look, pulling a face. Explained why he remembered waking up confused, he guessed... He shifted his weight a little bit, taking a moment to let that sink in.

"Babysitting me couldn't have been that horrible." Well, not entirely true. It could have been terrible, especially if he'd found something... private, between them now. "Dean, I can only remember flashes here and there... I remember waking up terrified. Think I remember driving around with you. Maybe it'll all come back, maybe it won't, but are you okay?"

"It wasn't all horrible. We had a good time, for the most part. Got some pictures to get developed, later." Dean didn't look up from his coffee mug while he answered. Yeah, it hadn't been all bad. Not until the end. Even the, at least Sam hadn't run screaming from him or anything. It could have been worse. Just not by much.

"You've just got that big brain of yours. Too damn smart for your own good. You figured out pretty easily why there was only one bed in the place."

"Pictures?" He gave a snort, trying to swallow back any nervousness. It wasn't like it'd take a genius to figure out something was off here. One big bed, no other bedrooms or a place for either Dean or him to crash. They were close brothers, yeah, but not quite sharing-a-bed-close. At least not then.

He shifted a little, trying to brush off that uneasy feeling. He didn't know what he was supposed to say to that. "Yeah, well... It's not like I knew then what I know now, Dean. I was a kid, so whatever I said, I was probably just freaked, man."

He hoped that was comforting enough.

"Yeah. You really liked the ghost tour and the aquarium. Didn't make it to the zoo," he mumbled, lifting his coffee for a sip. It was obvious Sam was nervous and trying to make him feel better about the situation, but Dean was too far down a miserable hole right now to let himself be comforted.

"You looked disgusted. Never saw that look on your face before. It was like trying to explain it to Dad, but worse, because I really didn't want to hurt you..." God, he needed Sam to go to work so he could fall apart properly.

"Sounds like fun, Dean..." And he wished he could remember it a little bit clearer.

"Dude, look... I'm sure it wasn't pleasant, but I'm here now." He leaned in a little, his eyes locking on Dean's face. "I wasn't disgusted the first time I kissed you, right? Or because of anything else we've done. That counts for something, right?"

He could only imagine how he acted, honestly... and God, he really didn't want to have to go into work today, not if it meant leaving Dean like this.

"Yeah, it counts, Sammy." Dean didn't know what to say. In his head, he knew what Sam was saying made sense, but he was still heartsick over the whole thing. God, he'd never felt so bad about himself before. Like some kind of sicko.

He reached for his fork and poked at breakfast. Needed to eat something before the leftover alcohol in his stomach really did make him sick.

Sam sighed and decided to just eat, let Dean have his space for now if he wanted it. He needed to eat anyway, it'd help with the hangover.

"I have to go get ready soon, I guess..."

Eventually, he did manage to find some little bit of an appetite. Didn't want Sam to think the food was bad, either. Dean looked up when Sam spoke and he nodded. "Don't want you to lose that job. I know you like it."

He scratched at the back of his neck and reached for his coffee. "Want to take the camera in and get the pictures developed?"

It was a little hard to mess up eggs and bacon thankfully. Well, hard to mess it up too bad. "It's fine, Dean... it'll be fine."

He really didn't get any complaints from his boss anyway. Aside from a couple emergencies, he was always there on time, worked hard too. He hoped he wouldn't be in danger of losing it anytime soon.

"Yeah, sure. I'll drop them off."

"Alright. I'll get them." He got up and wandered into the bedroom to dig the little disposable camera out of his jacket pocket. He flicked a glance at their bed... the bed he had scarcely been in for a few days. He simultaneously wanted to crawl in right now, and never touch it again.

He took a breath and returned to the kitchen to hand the camera over. "Thanks."

Sam took the camera, inspecting it a moment... kind of wanted to see what was on it. Maybe it'd jog a memory or something. "No problem, Dean."

He got to his feet then. He had to go get dressed now and he knew it. He decided to at least go in to press a quick kiss to Dean's cheek before he headed to the bedroom, just wanting that- reassurance that things were okay between them.

Even if they kind of weren't. Maybe it was selfish, but the thought that whatever happened might have run Dean off from this, made him see it as too fucked up to keep going... God, it'd be like a punch to the gut.

Dean didn't pull away from the kiss. He was mixed up and hurting, but he didn't want Sam to think Dean was upset with him in any way. This wasn't Sam's fault. Dean started it. Hell, he might have even started it years before he knew it was there. After what he'd seen and done the last few days, there was no telling.

While Sam was getting ready for work, Dean kept himself busy cleaning up the kitchen.

Sam hurried and got ready for work, still not really interested in going in. He didn't exactly know what was going on in Dean's head, what he wanted to do about it and he wanted to stay, talk. He figured that could happen later though...

"Dean, I'll text you when I'm about to get off, alright?" He grabbed the keys for the car and the camera to get the film developed, heading towards the door.

Dean stood in the kitchen doorway and watched Sam head for the door. It struck him, just then, that he had no idea if Sam would be 'Sam' when he came home this time. He hadn't been last time.

"Yeah, alright. Hang on a sec..." He stepped over and slipped his arms around Sam, squeezing him tightly. Needed to hang onto him for a minute.

Sam paused when he was told to, raising his eyebrows when Dean hugged him. He didn't hesitate to bring his arms around his brother though, squeezing him in return. "Hey..."

He tipped his head in, kissing the side of Dean's face lightly. "Love you, Dean."

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