onlytobenormal | For samefivealbums

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[When Sam finally started to stir, he really wished he hadn't. He really had the mother of all hangovers here - his head was throbbing and god, everything felt horrible. His memory of last night was pretty hazy too, to boot. He did realize pretty quick off the bat that he'd been sleeping on Dean, tangled up in him.] Dean?

[Much as his body felt sluggish and heavy still, the minute he realized they were naked, he gave a jolt away from Dean, memories hazily filtering back in. Bits and pieces at least and he wasn't sure if his stomach did a flip because of some of the stuff he recalled or because of the hangover.] Dean! You... you need to wake up.

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Yes, yes, yes... let go, Sam. Wanna feel you. [Dean had to bite down more than once over the last few hours on cutesy endearments that threatened to slip past him. He didn't figure his brother would appreciate them, no matter that they were born of affection. And, God, he was discovering whole new depths of affection for Sam he hadn't previously thought possible. He'd always loved his brother, but this was something else. He was in all kinds of trouble, here.]

Love you. [He breathed the words against Sam's jaw.] Love you, Sammy, God...

Love... love you too, Dean. [He managed the words back, eyes opening hazily to look at Dean. God, this was opening up too many doors. Of course he loved Dean, no matter how frustrated he got with him or what fights they'd had, he loved him. This was adding too many new angles to it though... so many different angles.]

Dean! [He was clinging to Dean, repeating the other's name as he came and rode out the waves of pleasure washing over him. He was murmuring soft, affectionate words in between, his face pressed against his brother's body.]

[When he finally felt Sam coming underneath him, Dean let himself stop holding back. He thrust harder and faster down against his brother, lengthening Sam's climax as he raced toward his own. He wasn't long behind Sam, rocking into the other until his body had nothing left to give.]

[He settled as gently as he could on top of Sam and breathed in ragged breaths. Hadn't realized, when he decided to drive his brother a little crazy, he'd be right there on the crazy train with him. Fortunately, he thoroughly enjoyed the ride.]

[The only part of his body still willing to move was his mouth, lazily kissing his brother's neck and still murmuring soft things long after the tremors ended.]

[Sam was spent. He thought he had to be well and thoroughly spent by now. God, it was like they were making up for lost time here and Sam couldn't bring himself to complain about it like he should.]

[Sam's hold on Dean loosened to something more comfortable, just staying around Dean and holding him close. He smiled at the kisses, at those soft words that Dean kept murmuring. God, he was in deep trouble here and all he could do was turn his head and press a softer kiss to the side of Dean's face.] Love you, Dean... love you.

[It was kind of an instinct for Dean, once he found something he enjoyed that he could have, to take as much pleasure from it as he could all at once. He never quite knew when it was going to be taken from him. He wasn't even sure what tomorrow would bring with this, whatever this was, so he was determined to grab every last bit of happiness he could get out of it before he lost it. Or lost Sam.]

[Slowly, reluctantly, he shifted off to the side a little, taking his weight off his brother so they could both breathe a little more easily. He turned so he was facing Sam and tugged his brother close. Somewhere along the way, they'd kicked off the covers and the cool air was making him want Sam's warm body close. Plus there was that whole cuddling thing he most assuredly didn't do.]

We're so fucked. [He breathed the words against Sam's hair and chuckled because it was true in every sense of the word. Somehow, he was still failing to care about any possible consequences. Well, unless Sam got hurt. Then he'd care.]

[Sam shifted against Dean, staying close because he was getting kind of cool without the covers and because... well, maybe he just wanted Dean close, doing that whole not-cuddling stuff. He rested his head against the other's shoulder, nuzzling into him tiredly.]

[It took Dean speaking again to snap him out of that pleasant little haze he'd settled into. Fucked... that was one way to put it. He looked up slowly.] Yeah... guess we are.

[This couldn't end good and Sam knew it, maybe he was more worried about that than anything else right now. And he couldn't bring himself to stop it - hadn't been able to all day. He was quiet for a few moments, just thoughtful. He'd known they'd been talking on and off all day, but...] What happens when you leave here, Dean? With this.

I don't know. I mean, it's not all up to me, is it? [He rubbed his cheek against the top of Sam's head and sighed. He didn't like serious conversations. It was perfectly alright with him that most of the world was under the impression that he wasn't actually capable of deep thought. Less awkwardness that way.]

[He knew he couldn't avoid it, in this case. What was happening here was too volatile to leave too much to chance. If he let Sam get hurt like this, he wouldn't be able to forgive himself.] What would make you happy?

[And Sam was quiet again. He didn't know... how to answer that. He didn't know what he wanted because half of him wanted this and the other half was going crazy because this pretty much undid... all the hard work he was doing to be normal, to have a nice, safe, normal life.]

[Idly and for something else to do, he traced a fingertip down Dean's chest, following what was now more familiar than it ought to be.] I don't know... it's just - still pretty new, you know?

Yeah, I know. [Dean ran his thumb lightly up and down Sam's spine, tracing the long line with his nail. He buried his face in Sam's hair and could still smell the faint scent of the soap and shampoo from their shower earlier in the day, mixed in with the sweat from the incredible sex they just finished.]

[He took a deep breath and released it slowly, before he could speak again. His words were muffled against his brother.] You let me know, when you decide. You're the one with so much to lose, here. I don't want... man, I really didn't come here to wreck your life.

[All he had to lose was Sam, which was kind of everything really, but he figured Sam didn't need the added pressure of hearing that. He wanted Sam to make the choice that would make himself happy. Dean would land on his feet, one way or another.]

[Sam let a pleasant hum at the light rake of Dean's nail over his back, turning his head to press a kiss to the other's shoulder lightly.]

[those words got him to pause though. He... appreciated that. He really did. After that whole ordeal with dad? Good to hear somebody on his side at least and even better that it was Dean and Dean wasn't... trying to get him to run off with him or come back home.]

[He lifted a hand to brush through Dean's hair, shifting enough to be able to kiss him properly.] ... I know you didn't, Dean. I don't think you did. It just - happened, right?

[Not something either of them planned on. He definitely didn't.] As long as we're careful, it won't... wreck anything, dude. [He hesitated again.] Just - you know this doesn't change anything here right, Dean? I can't... come with you or anything. [He lowered his voice.] I'll be thinking about this though... Don't know if I can stop now.

I don't expect you to come back with me anymore than I imagine you expect me to move in here. [He smiled wryly. Hunting wasn't for Sam and college life wasn't for Dean. They'd have to figure out a way to strike a balance somewhere, or this was all going to fall apart.]

I don't wanna give this up. I don't know how or why it happened, but I wanna hang on for as long as you do.

[He's not dumb. Sam's a good looking, bright, generous guy and every woman (and probably half the men) on campus were going to notice that sooner or later. One of them was bound to be 'normal life' material in all the ways Dean wasn't.]

Yeah... you're right. I know you wouldn't. [He didn't know what... kind of balance they could find here, but they'd need to figure something out. They'd worry about it later or something.]

[He nodded slowly, resting back against Dean's shoulder.] Yeah, I know... [He pressed his lips to the other's chest lightly, affectionately.] Guess we better just make the most of this weekend, huh? Might just be phone calls for awhile or something...

[Dean squeezed him lightly and ran a hand through Sam's hair. His voice turned teasing.] Yep, I guess I can give up the pretense of actually attempting to do anything outside the apartment, huh? Well, except for the campus. It really would be nice to see some of it.

Be careful wishing for phone calls. You might get sick of the sound of my voice. Or me panting in your ear. [He kissed Sam's temple lightly.]

[That earned an exasperated groan but the look on his face was almost amused.] Pervert. If you actually let me out of bed tomorrow, I'll show you around.

[He snorted.] Dude, seriously, were you planning on calling every night?

I'm pretty sure I'm not the only pervert in this bed, dude. Unless that was some other guy fucking me through your couch earlier. [His teasing grin got even bigger.] And if it was, can you get me his number?

Not every night. [He pinched Sam's side playfully.] Although, if I'm gonna be jerking off alone in my hotel every night, someone ought'a share my sexual frustration.

Dean... shut up, dude. And you asked for that. [He shrugged, giving a watered down glare.] I bet you're going to ask for it again too.

[He gives Dean a slight push in retaliation for that pinch, lips quirking up a little.] Alone every night? So no waitresses or chicks you find in bars, man? [He'd be lying if he said he hadn't been.... wondering about that.]

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