onlytobenormal | For samefivealbums

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[When Sam finally started to stir, he really wished he hadn't. He really had the mother of all hangovers here - his head was throbbing and god, everything felt horrible. His memory of last night was pretty hazy too, to boot. He did realize pretty quick off the bat that he'd been sleeping on Dean, tangled up in him.] Dean?

[Much as his body felt sluggish and heavy still, the minute he realized they were naked, he gave a jolt away from Dean, memories hazily filtering back in. Bits and pieces at least and he wasn't sure if his stomach did a flip because of some of the stuff he recalled or because of the hangover.] Dean! You... you need to wake up.

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[He looked back over again, taking his time to answer. It wasn't an easy yes/no question. There were all kinds of things to have to consider. Not the least of which was the holy hell that would rain down if Dad ever found out.] I think it's possible. Definitely. I also think it'll take a lot of work. A lot of lying. A lot of pretending. Sneaking around. You have to be sure you're up for all that if we go on from here. [Since when had their lives ever been easy?]

[God, he didn't even want to think what Dad would do if he found out about this...] Yeah... you'd be okay with that, man? And if we - did this... you'd know I'm still not going to come back out on the road with you, right? I'll be right here and you'd be welcomed whenever, man, but...

Sammy, I get it. You're not coming back with me. You've been telling me that all weekend and I get it, I do. I'm not asking you to. [He sighed, looking at his brother, tired and a little sad.] I know you hate the life, okay, but it's all I have. It's all I can do and it's pretty much the only thing I'm good for, so please? Just... a little less enthusiasm on the whole 'rather die than go back' line, okay?

[He rubbed his face.] I'm already nursing a minor inferiority complex when it comes to your giant brain and shiny future, you know? Just a little less disdain at mine, okay? Please?

Dean... [He paused, looking over at the other.] Look, I'm sorry. That's not - how I meant it, dude.

[He reached over with one hand, resting it on Dean's knee to give a light, affectionate squeeze.] It's going to be tough with you gone so much, man... And you'd have to be way more careful than me. Doubt dad would take this too well.

I'm always careful. [He put his hand over Sam's and squeezed lightly, accepting the apology.] I'm not saying it won't be hard, but I am saying I think it'll be worth it. If it's something you want. I wasn't kidding before. You have to make this call. You're the one with the life set up here.

[Sam relaxed a little when Dean seemed to accept his apology and after a moment, slowly returned his hand to the wheel. Dean was leaving this in his hands and he still... didn't know. It was going against everything he'd come out here for.] I've been... uh. I've enjoyed this weekend, Dean. Really... I've been... happy. [Happier than he thought he'd be given everything.]

I sense a 'but' coming on... [He smiled wryly. The smart choice for Sam would be to drop the whole thing. Dean knew that. He was already braced for it. He reached over and gave his brother's shoulder a squeeze.] It's alright, Sammy. You can tell me.

[Sam realized he'd missed the turn for the arcade a little too late. Been a little distracted here, but... that was okay. They needed to talk anyway, right?] No... I mean- [He shrugged helplessly.] there probably should be a 'but', Dean.

But there's not. I just... like it. I shouldn't. I'm pretty sure most people would be grossed out or disgusted, maybe not even want to be in the same room as their brother if - that happened. I don't feel like that though, Dean. It's a little scary how natural it feels, actually.

[Dean probably couldn't have concentrated on arcade games just then anyway. Although he'd be disappointed, later, when he remembered Sam was going to give him naughty terms for the new bet. Ah well.] So, you're saying you don't want to stop? Try to be 'normal' again?

[He let his hand drop from Sam's shoulder and turned a little to face him.] You know I won't stop visiting if you call this off, right? I'll still come around if you want me to. Just would keep myself on the couch from now on, if that was what you wanted. I meant it when I said we'd still be brothers, no matter what. I'll always have your back, Sam.

[Sam kept his eyes straight, he couldn't look at Dean right now and it was taking a lot of effort to just keep his focus on driving.] Dean, I know... okay, I know? You're my brother and I love you, you know that, right? No matter what.

[He paused, shrugging.] I don't know how long we can keep this up, but... I do know I don't want to... stop it. Not right now.

If you don't want to stop, we won't stop. [He couldn't help smiling a little. He was just about drowning in relief. He'd do anything for his brother, but he didn't want to stop this now. If it was what Sam wanted, he'd do it, but it would hurt.] We'll play it by ear and see what happens. If it gets to be too much or you change your mind... we'll deal with it when we get there?

I don't want to, Dean. [He looked over, offering a small smile in return.] Yeah, that sounds good, man. We'll just see how it goes.

Good. [He settled back in his seat, far more relaxed than when he got in.] So, uh, I noticed we missed the arcade. Headed back to your apartment, then?

Yeah, sorry about that... [He shrugged.] I can turn around if you want? Or if there's another place you'd like to check out...

Nah, it's cool. Think I'd like to just go back and hang out a while, if you're okay with it? I know we didn't get around to much sight seeing this weekend... [He trailed off, shrugging apologetically.]

Yeah, that's fine, Dean. [He shook his head.] Next time you come up, we'll do something, okay? Go to all those tourist traps we didn't get to this time.

Sounds like a plan. [He reached over and put his hand on Sam's shoulder again, letting it rest there.] I picked up a couple movies when I was running around today. Maybe watch one tonight, if you want?

Yeah, sure. [He smiled a little at the touch.] Wait - what are the movies?

[He blinked, then laughed at Sam's suspicious tone.] Relax, Sammy. Only one or two of them are porn.

Uh-huh. [He flashed a teasing look.] And which one were you wanting to watch tonight?

Whichever one I could talk you into, Sammy. [He returned the look, much happier now than when they left the restaurant.] I know you'd die of embarrassment before you'd watch a porn with me, don't worry. There's a few action flicks. Die Hard, of course. Godfather's a classic.

[He rolled his eyes at that.] I am so not watching porno with you, Dean. Seriously. Die Hard would be good.

[He grinned, teasing again.] You'll get naked with me, but you won't watch porn with me? How does that work, exactly?

Well, it's a little different when we're doing it than if we're sitting side by side watching other people do it. There's more bad acting, for example...

Ahhh, so it's not the content that bothers you, it's the execution. I see. [He was still laughing. A week ago, his brother would have refused to even answer the question. He reached over and ruffled Sam's hair playfully.] Your mind works in mysterious ways, dude.

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