Sam settled on coffee as well and after deciding what he wanted to order after a moment, put the menu down and turned his attention out the window for something to focus on... but there wasn't much out there besides a clear shot of the parking lot.

Just sitting around, pretending that this... wasn't as bad as it was, that things weren't so messed up for them right now was going to drive him crazy, but he honestly didn't know what to do.

Well, he knew. They should go back, handle the apartment business, but the thought still turned his stomach a little. It'd make it that much more real if they did and it still hadn't sunk in that he'd really blown his chances at Stanford, at something nice and safe and he'd taken the chance from Dean too.