onlytobenormal | the first kill [for whatheneeds

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the first kill [for whatheneeds

[Sam kept his word. After pulling up some stuff on vampires for Dean to read (which would hopefully keep him focused and not rushing out to feed... Sam had been desperate for a distraction to discourage that), he went to finding someone... guilty enough to feed on.

Sam hadn't wanted that job, hated it, but he eventually found someone with enough crimes under their belt that was close by. It had taken way longer than he'd hoped and he'd been more worried Dean would rush out and find the nearest person, guilty or not, to sate that hunger. He'd managed to keep his brother with him though, managed to keep his eye on him.

Their guy was all kinds of disgusting; a sex offender, picked up for various types of assaults and had a whole list of other crap to his name but somehow he was out and walking around still. Just their luck the guy walked back to his crappy apartment alone most every night and even luckier, there were plenty of places out of the way to drag him off to. It'd be easy.

Sam agreed to stand watch while Dean took care of his feeding. He couldn't... do it with him. He couldn't be the one doing the feeding even if he craved it, not yet anyway. Maybe next time. He was feeling crappy enough playing the guy's executioner, even if he was guilty as sin. These were still people they were feeding on.

God, maybe they were better off offing themselves or tracking Dad down to take care of business.

But that wasn't a thought he should be entertaining right now, not after he got Dean into this mess by being selfish and too scared to face this shit alone. He'd promised Dean he'd keep alive, so... he was kind of stuck.

Sam stood just outside the alley, arms crossed and watching for anyone coming by. Those Jedi mind tricks would come in handy, probably. Sam didn't actually want a fight with anybody if they got curious about what was going on just behind him in the dark.]

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Dean thought it should have been harder.

He thought it would be a struggle to even get the man to stay still, but with his new strength once he got his hands on him the man had no chance of escaping. It barely took any effort. He thought he'd have to bite down hard too, but his fangs slid in like they were biting through tissue paper. Were humans really this fragile.

He knew he wanted the blood, he needed the blood but he hated the taste any time before, when they'd tried animal so he expected something gross. Dean failed to bite back a moan the minute the blood exploded into his mouth after breaking the artery. It was the greatest thing he'd ever tasted. Better than pie, burgers, and whiskey combined.

The warm liquid slid freely down his throat and he never wanted it to end. Not ever. He didn't know how he could go another week like before without it. He felt the thing under him struggling less and less as blood loss took over and the weaker his meal was the stronger he felt. Finally he pulled back when the flow slowed down and his food stopped breathing.

No...not food..the man stopped breathing. He let the man...corpse fall to the ground in a heap and took a few stumbling steps back until he collided with the wall behind him. He'd just....fuck...

He didn't know how to feel. He'd just killed somebody, somebody he'd never met. Yeah Sam assured him that the guy was a real prick but...he'd just killed somebody. And he felt amazing. He felt like he could do anything right now, that nothing could stop him. The mix of joy and guilt were getting to much.

"Sammy?!" he managed to croak out, not knowing what else to do. He kept staring at the corpse, fangs still out and lips and chin coated in blood as he took in deep, unneeded breathes that made his chest burn.

The minute he heard Dean's voice, realized he needed him, Sam was gone. he rushed to his side, eyes wide with worry. He thought maybe something had gone wrong, but... no. There was a corpse and Dean was standing there, covered in blood.

"Hey..." His tone was soft as he stepped closer, reaching out to touch Dean's cheek, coax him to look over at him.

"You okay, Dean? Feeling better?"

Just wanted his brother to talk to him so bad. Knew he had to be freaking out... Sam had the first time he'd lost control, done this. Then again, that girl hadn't had any crimes to her name, hadn't deserved any kind of punishment.

Still haunted him, even now.

He didn't look away until he felt Sam's hand on his face. He unconsciously leaned a little into the touch, shutting his eyes for a second to try and calm down. He finally opened them again and swallowed, meeting Sam's gaze but he couldn't say anything. Instead he just nodded and continued to breathe heavily.

Sam refused to breathe. He didn't need to and if he caught the scent of blood, he thought he'd lose it. It was enough just seeing it on Dean to make him almost dizzy with hunger. He didn't have anybody else lined up and--

And they needed to think, keep a clear head.

"Dean, focus, man. We got to get rid of the body. We can't leave a trace." Nothing that would attract hunters...

He blinked several times, looking back and forth between Sam and the corpse...the corpse he made. No. Sam was right, he had to focus. Get rid of the body. Keep them safe.

"We...we should burn it, make sure nobody would be able to tell...." no, that isn't really convenient. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his knife, walking past Sam to the corpse. He was on autopilot now, he just needed to get this done. "We slit his throat, explain the blood loss and cover up the bites. It'll just look like a robbery."

"Okay, Dean..." Sam was willing to let Dean take care of this because honestly, it was sinking in that they'd killed someone. Sure, he'd been a bad guy, but it had been a person... not a monster.

God...

They were the monsters this time.

"We need to hurry..."

"I know Sam, I got it.". He searched the mans pockets and pulled out his wallet. He had to make it look like a robbery. He leaned down, pressing his blade into the mans neck and did a quick slice, making sure he cut through the bite mark.

He looked up at Sam after that, hands now soaked as well. He didn't know what to say, he felt awful but not as bad as he thought he should. He just had all this energy but was afraid to move. He just needed Sam to let him know they were okay, that Sam wasn't disgusted by him.

Sam wasn't disgusted with Dean... God,he couldn't really blame him for what he was doing. Sam had made him like this, pushed it on him. He was doing what vampires did, what was in their nature. He shouldn't have that on him.

"Okay, Dean... come on, let's go," he murmured. Still felt dizzy with the hunger, the sight of the blood not helping. He needed out of here and so he started walking fast out of the alley, expecting Dean to follow.

"We need to get you washed up, man..."

He finally got his fangs to retract and licked his lips before rushing after Sam. "What about you? Didn't you pick out something for yourself?".

He shook his head stiffly at that, rushing ahead still. "Not tonight... just wanted to get you some food, Dean. I'll be okay."

"What?". He easily rushed ahead and stopped in front of Sam. "No way, you're starving. You have to eat...please Sammy.". He lifted his arm, no caring that they were out in the open. "Do it to me then at least."

"Dean--" There was a pleading note when Dean decided to jump in front of him, shoved his arm at him. "I'll... I'll eat later, man. I'm fine- please."

People were going to see them and it'd be hard to explain.

Dean frowned but finally turned around and darted off towards their motel that was thankfully near by. He was pissed off, but he knew Sam was right, he had to get cleaned up. He didn't wanna go back inside, he was full of energy and wanted to go...something. He didn't care what.

Sam followed him, trailing behind a little. He followed Dean into the room when they got there and went to sit heavily on the bed. Just wanted him to get cleaned up and fast. He needed him to.

He immediately walked in and cut his wrist, sitting down next to sam on the bed. "Eat dumb ass, now." He was still warm from the blood, for the first time since he died he felt warm, and he could help Sam feel that way too.

"Dean..." He huffed out a frustrated sigh, frowning at Dean. He didn't want to take from Dean, didn't want him to wind up starving and uncomfortable again... but the blood was too hard to resist. He leaned in to close his mouth over the wound.

He'd take a little to shut Dean up.

Dean had gotten a lot out of that guy, he could lose some and be just fine. "Next time we both eat, understand? We stick together, either we both eat or neither of us do."

Sam glared up, but it was hard to stay pissed with the rush of blood,how his hunger seemed to lessen with each swallow. He leaned into Dean a little, resting his head against him comfortably as he fed from the wound.

He slung an arm around around him to hold him close, trying to wipe the blood off his own face with his other hand. "Feel better, right? We..we did it and everything is okay."

Sam pulled away soon and let his head roll back to look at Dean, idly licking any blood off his lips. "Yeah, I do, Dean... you still feel okay?"

Yeah, they did it... and as far as he could tell, things were alright. He nodded. "Yeah... everything's okay, Dean."

What Sam took was nothing compared to what he'd gotten from that piece of shit. "I feel...I feel really good Sam. Strong and warm...fuck I feel amazing, which is probably bad."

"It's not... it's good, Dean." He didn't have to sit back and watch his brother suffer because of him... it was a relief. Maybe it shouldn't be, but... it was.

"What do you want to do now? We can do whatever you want, Dean."

Dean felt guilty, he did, but he was just trying to keep himself busy until it went away. He couldn't do anything about it, this was what they were now and he had to stay strong for Sam.

"We can do whatever you want, I have all this fucking enegry I gotta do something...something besides research please."

"I don't know... I just don't want to sit around the motel room all night." he didn't want to think about what they'd done earlier, what they'd do again.

"We should wash up..."

"Yeah, we probably should," he raised an eyebrows, looking down at Sam. "Unless you wanna keep cuddling."

He gave an embarrassed look at that, drawing away and whacking at Dean's arm. "Dude, shut up... I wasn't cuddling."

Kinda was, but the blood made him feel weird like that sometimes. "Go wash up, jerk."

"You totally were," he smirked and got to his feet, walking over to the bathroom. He left the door open while he watched his face and hands so he could keep talking to Sam.

"From what I read so far I guess it's pretty common to be that way with people in your "vamp family" or whatever."

"Shut up, Dean." There wasn't much heat behind it and after a minute, he got up to lean against the doorframe.

"Yeah? Huh. You learn anything else about... us?"

"Not much, hard to figure out what was real and what was Anne Rice. Vamps like to stay in groups, like to fuck and kill and all that stuff we already knew they did." He finished washing his face and hands and turned back to face Sammy.

"As for the whole Sire thing, they pretty much assume people only turn the people they're boning so it was hard to get info that didn't involve that. Mostly our instincts are gonna wanna make us stay close together, look after each other, blah blah blah. Same as it ever was."

"There's info involving boning?" he made a face at that before he went to step up to the sink, looking at himself in the mirror. he frowned at the blood surrounding his mouth and went to wipe it off.

"But good... nothing too different from the sounds of it. We're going to really need to watch each other too."

"Oh yeah, over all consensus is vampires are honey bastards," he chuckled as he watched Sam clean himself. "And of coarse we'll watch each other, just like always."

"Huh. So, no change for you then?" He flashed a playful smirk, cleaning himself up quickly. Getting out of the motel room was actually something he was looking forward to now, wasn't worried about losing control of himself or Dean since they'd both had plenty.

"Haven't felt much like jumping in bed with anyone, myself." Unless you counted the cuddling with Dean, but that wasn't exactly because he was horny. It just felt good...

And again, Sam hadn't really let himself be around anyone since changing.

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the first kill [for whatheneeds

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