onlytobenormal | For samefivealbums

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[When Sam finally started to stir, he really wished he hadn't. He really had the mother of all hangovers here - his head was throbbing and god, everything felt horrible. His memory of last night was pretty hazy too, to boot. He did realize pretty quick off the bat that he'd been sleeping on Dean, tangled up in him.] Dean?

[Much as his body felt sluggish and heavy still, the minute he realized they were naked, he gave a jolt away from Dean, memories hazily filtering back in. Bits and pieces at least and he wasn't sure if his stomach did a flip because of some of the stuff he recalled or because of the hangover.] Dean! You... you need to wake up.

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[He looked up, steak fry halfway to his mouth. Gave Sam a sheepish look and shrugged.] I was scrambling around to get stuff done today. By the time I got back, sleep won out over lunch. [He made an effort to slow down.]

Well, it did look like you were busy, Dean... [He grinned a little.] You know you didn't have to do all that, right?

'Course I did, Sammy. One slave for the weekend, remember? [He winked and picked up his beer, taking a long drink.] Had to get everything done so I didn't weasel out on our bet. Always keep my promises.

Well, you've really outperformed my expectations this weekend, Dean. In a lot of ways. [He paused, flashing a smile to the other.] I think I could get used to it.

[He ducked his head involuntarily at the compliment, grinning and maybe blushing a little.] Think you can? I was kinda hoping so, since I was planning on a lot more visits.

[Sam's expression softened a little at his brother's reaction and he found himself looking down at his own plate.] Yeah, Dean... if you want to.

Of course I want to. [He looked up and nudged Sam's foot under the table lightly.] Just needed to know you were okay with it.

[His voice dropped lower so he wouldn't be overheard.] I'm nowhere near normal and you and me together? Lightyears from normal. I want it, but be sure you do too, okay?

[Sam was quiet since Dean was pretty much... bringing up all the stuff he'd been thinking about, himself. Things he wasn't sure he wanted to get into yet. They'd need to though, right? He frowned a little, poking at what was left of his own food.] ... Let's talk after this, man. Come on.

[Wished he knew what was best to do here. He wanted it, sure, but... he really shouldn't. It wasn't normal in any sense of the word.]

Yeah, sure. Sorry. [He turned back to his plate, working on finishing off the last few bites remaining. He'd gotten comfortable again, thinking they were going to go through with this. It was just as likely Sam would want it over, still reaching for his normal life. Crap.]

[He looked back up, a smile fixed in place.] We should skip the pie here and have dessert at the arcade. I think I remember sundaes and banana splits on their menu.

[Dean was happy with this - it was obvious he was and some part of him was... enjoying this. Happy, maybe. But God, it was so far off his plan, it wasn't even funny... He just needed to think. Or something.]

Yeah, okay, that sounds good. [He gave a slow nod, looking up at Dean finally.] You ready to head out then?

Yep! I'll grab the check. [He waved down their waitress and paid the bill, leaving behind the receipt with the carefully printed phone number on the back. He got up and followed Sam out to the car, sliding into the passenger's seat once more.]

[It was kind of hard not to notice a phone number on the back of that receipt... And Sam couldn't help but fidget a little. Not used to feeling bothered by Dean getting numbers, not beyond some annoyance if Dean was being particularly smug or irritating about it anyway.]

[He settled in the driver's seat and just carefully focused on driving for a few moments.] ... So. Uh. [He paused, awkwardly.] You seriously weren't tempted to take that number?

[Dean has been looking out the passenger window quietly when Sam's voice startled him out of his thoughts. He looked over at his brother in confusion for a second.] Huh? Oh... no. Not really.

[He shrugged. The way he saw it, this weekend was going to end one of two ways. Either Sam would want to continue with this... whatever they were doing, in which case he wouldn't need that number. Or, Sam would call it off. In which case Dean wasn't planning to stick around for a consolation lay with a random waitress.]

Dean - [he paused, just staring at the road, frowning. He didn't really feel much like playing games right now, didn't know if they'd be able to bluff their way through it with the way Dean was zoning out over there. Or maybe they could, but that still left a conversation they needed to have before Dean left.]

You think we could really - make whatever this is work?

[He looked back over again, taking his time to answer. It wasn't an easy yes/no question. There were all kinds of things to have to consider. Not the least of which was the holy hell that would rain down if Dad ever found out.] I think it's possible. Definitely. I also think it'll take a lot of work. A lot of lying. A lot of pretending. Sneaking around. You have to be sure you're up for all that if we go on from here. [Since when had their lives ever been easy?]

[God, he didn't even want to think what Dad would do if he found out about this...] Yeah... you'd be okay with that, man? And if we - did this... you'd know I'm still not going to come back out on the road with you, right? I'll be right here and you'd be welcomed whenever, man, but...

Sammy, I get it. You're not coming back with me. You've been telling me that all weekend and I get it, I do. I'm not asking you to. [He sighed, looking at his brother, tired and a little sad.] I know you hate the life, okay, but it's all I have. It's all I can do and it's pretty much the only thing I'm good for, so please? Just... a little less enthusiasm on the whole 'rather die than go back' line, okay?

[He rubbed his face.] I'm already nursing a minor inferiority complex when it comes to your giant brain and shiny future, you know? Just a little less disdain at mine, okay? Please?

Dean... [He paused, looking over at the other.] Look, I'm sorry. That's not - how I meant it, dude.

[He reached over with one hand, resting it on Dean's knee to give a light, affectionate squeeze.] It's going to be tough with you gone so much, man... And you'd have to be way more careful than me. Doubt dad would take this too well.

I'm always careful. [He put his hand over Sam's and squeezed lightly, accepting the apology.] I'm not saying it won't be hard, but I am saying I think it'll be worth it. If it's something you want. I wasn't kidding before. You have to make this call. You're the one with the life set up here.

[Sam relaxed a little when Dean seemed to accept his apology and after a moment, slowly returned his hand to the wheel. Dean was leaving this in his hands and he still... didn't know. It was going against everything he'd come out here for.] I've been... uh. I've enjoyed this weekend, Dean. Really... I've been... happy. [Happier than he thought he'd be given everything.]

I sense a 'but' coming on... [He smiled wryly. The smart choice for Sam would be to drop the whole thing. Dean knew that. He was already braced for it. He reached over and gave his brother's shoulder a squeeze.] It's alright, Sammy. You can tell me.

[Sam realized he'd missed the turn for the arcade a little too late. Been a little distracted here, but... that was okay. They needed to talk anyway, right?] No... I mean- [He shrugged helplessly.] there probably should be a 'but', Dean.

But there's not. I just... like it. I shouldn't. I'm pretty sure most people would be grossed out or disgusted, maybe not even want to be in the same room as their brother if - that happened. I don't feel like that though, Dean. It's a little scary how natural it feels, actually.

[Dean probably couldn't have concentrated on arcade games just then anyway. Although he'd be disappointed, later, when he remembered Sam was going to give him naughty terms for the new bet. Ah well.] So, you're saying you don't want to stop? Try to be 'normal' again?

[He let his hand drop from Sam's shoulder and turned a little to face him.] You know I won't stop visiting if you call this off, right? I'll still come around if you want me to. Just would keep myself on the couch from now on, if that was what you wanted. I meant it when I said we'd still be brothers, no matter what. I'll always have your back, Sam.

[Sam kept his eyes straight, he couldn't look at Dean right now and it was taking a lot of effort to just keep his focus on driving.] Dean, I know... okay, I know? You're my brother and I love you, you know that, right? No matter what.

[He paused, shrugging.] I don't know how long we can keep this up, but... I do know I don't want to... stop it. Not right now.

If you don't want to stop, we won't stop. [He couldn't help smiling a little. He was just about drowning in relief. He'd do anything for his brother, but he didn't want to stop this now. If it was what Sam wanted, he'd do it, but it would hurt.] We'll play it by ear and see what happens. If it gets to be too much or you change your mind... we'll deal with it when we get there?

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