onlytobenormal | been too long (for siswinchester)

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siswinchester

been too long (for siswinchester)

It had been two months and three days. He'd been counting, as much as he hadn't wanted to be this hung up on his sister's visits or not. They'd talked... quite a bit over the phone, though he'd shied away from what they'd done over the weekend for the most part. Mostly because he'd been freaked out for the first couple weeks as the realization sunk in and then he didn't... know how to bring it up over the phone.

He didn't know what to say about the fact he'd fucked his own sister multiple times, that he knew it hadn't been just-- for the physical thrill of it. But the more time he had to make peace with the fact, the less the guilt weighed on him. It hadn't felt wrong, it hadn't-- been wrong. It had been between them, it hadn't hurt anyone else.

He didn't know if that meant they should do it again... probably not. It couldn't go anywhere or be anything, it sure as hell didn't factor into this new life of his. Unfortunately, he didn't know if logically knowing something was a bad idea would mean crap if he was faced with a drunk, horny sister again, especially when he couldn't help but thin of those times together. Not that he was going to admit most his fantasies involved his own sister riding him, calling out for him.

Especially not to said sister.

Despite all the risks though, Sam finally convinced her to come for a visit and she promised, promised she'd be in by Friday after his classes. Sam would be lying if he said he wasn't anxiously checking his watch, waiting... trying to keep his thoughts from drifting to what he'd like to be doing with her this weekend--which involved mostly varying states of undress in the middle of just hanging out like they used to.

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"You really think that?" He snorted, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek before he started trying to lower her back to the floor. Definitely needed to sit down a moment after that and catch his breath.

"Come on... let's get back to the couch."

"No, not really. Because, please, who can get sick of me?" The smirk stayed in place on her lips, legs shaky as he set her down. Wow. She held on to his arm still for support and nodded. "Yeah, couch sounds good." She agreed, walking with him to it to settle down before her legs gave out beneath her.

He settled on the couch heavily next to her, tilting his head back to rest on the back of it. "Mnh... want to just find something in the kitchen to eat tonight? We kinda got sidetracked from ordering out, I guess..."

Settling into his side, her new favorite place to sit, she closed her eyes for a moment. "Hm, yeah, that'll work I guess."

Sidetracked. More like fucked, fought, then fucked again. They were damn bizarre. Too bad she didn't really give a damn.

He let his arm come around her, pulling her in a little closer. Tonight had been... pretty damn interesting. Didn't know if that really gave him hope for this arrangement of theirs or not, really, but whatever. All they could do was see how it goes.

He turned his head to to kiss at her temple, his own eyes drifting shut a moment. He wasn't in any hurry to move at all.

As Dana thought about it more...she really hoped she hadn't pushed him into something he didn't really want. Gnawing at her lower lip, because honest to God, she didn't want to start another fight, she shifted, looking up at him after his lips brushed at her temple.

"Sammy?"

"Yeah?" He asked quietly, more calm than earlier as he looked down at her. Honestly, not looking for another fight either, not after all that.

It's not that she wanted to start up anything again, she just, wanted to be clear.

"You... I mean, it really is alright with you if I stay here?" She murmured, because she needed to know for sure. Things had been too heated and quick-- there couldn't be another misunderstanding again.

He sighed at that, tilting his head back. "Yeah... it is, Dana. We are gonna have to... work on some things though, between us." He shrugged awkwardly. "Figure out what-- this is between us, you know? And how to handle it if you're living here now."

Dana nodded slowly, eyebrows furrowed a bit. "Work on things between us...would you prefer us not to be sleeping together if I'm staying here?" She asked curiously.

"I don't know about that," he murmured, shrugging. "Just-- what do you want out of this, Dana? I mean, let's be straight here, it's not like we can settle down together, go off and get married-- pretty sure you wouldn't be the type even if it wasn't for the whole big sister stuff." He tried to keep his tone lighter on the last words, keep things easy between them.

She was quiet a moment, shifting, uncomfortable as she looked away from him. "I want--" Damn it all if this wasn't completely selfish of her. She had told him she was "I want us to just be...us."

Snorting, she shook her head. "Yeah, I don't think I ever planned on gettin' married Sam. I just, never thought I would-- want to be in a relationship." She mumbled the last part quietly, avoiding looking back up at him, because damn it, that had been hard for her. And the most fucked up thing was she wanted to be in one with him. Whatever...a relationship they could have at least. Maybe she meant exclusive or something, because the thought of Sam with another woman was completely unappealing to her.

He was quiet, just listening to her talk, letting hsis arm linger around her because part of him didn't want her to pull away, wanted to keep her close. "A relationship," he repeated. Never heard Dana talk about relationships either.

"So that means what, no one else but me?" Sam pressed quietly.

Dana shifted again, the urge to get up and move strong, though she didn't because his arm was still around her and she sort of found comfort in that. Making a face, she nodded.

"I mean--" She glanced back at him briefly, but looked away once more. "It's just...an idea. Or whatever. We don't have to."

He rolled his eyes at that, leaning in to kiss her shoulder since she wasn't going to look at him for more than a second. "... We can give it a try, Dana. It's not-- going to be easy, you know."

Farthest thing from 'easy', ever.

She leaned back into him after she felt his mouth brush at her shoulder, still feeling completely ridiculous.

"Yeah-- probably won't be. But..." She didn't really care. She shrugged, finally looking back up at him. "I just, don't see what else to do. At least, for me."

He lifted a hand when she finally looked at him, tipping her head back to press a soft kiss to his lips, lingering there in the kiss for a moment or so. "Yeah... I know what you mean, Dana. No one-- uh." He didn't know if he should admit this or not, but if she could actually-- own up to wanting something more...

"No one's really caught my eye besides you, you know. Since that weekend..."

She sighed against his mouth, kissing him back just as softly. When he pulled back a fraction to speak, she lifted a brow.

"Yeah?" She asked, hand brushing at his shoulder.

"Yeah." He gave an awkward nod, not sure what else to say to that that wouldn't sound ridiculous or sappy-- though on the plus side, Dana hadn't started the teasing in on him yet. His eyes darted to her hand briefly, relaxing a little under the touch.

Please. She had just admitted to wanting to be in a relationship. A fucked up one, but one all the same. She didn't really think she had room to tease.

Biting her lip at that, she leaned back in to kiss him once more. She would have...returned the sentiment, if not for those two guys she had slept with in an attempt to get over him while she was away...

He leaned into that kiss, keeping it softer, lighter. He didn't-- expect her to return anything. Knew Dana well enough to know she probably hadn't kept that faithful thing she was going on about now when she was traveling on the road.

Part of him didn't want to ask about it anyway, didn't want to know what she'd been up to.

His hand came up to rest on her cheek lightly and when the kiss ended, he gave a softer look. "I am glad you came back, you know..."

She tipped her face into his touch, letting out a breath after they pulled apart.

"Think I wasn't goin' to?" She asked, poking his side.

He snorted at the poke, shrugging a little. "Wasn't sure... didn't seem too keen on the idea when you left, you know?"

"I--" She paused. "I didn't think it was a good idea for me to come back, but I sorta always knew I would anyways..."

Nodding absently, he let that hand move from her cheek to brush her hair back, tucking it behind her ear. "I'm not-- happy for what happened because of it... the crap with Dad, but I am glad you came back. I missed you."

been too long (for siswinchester)

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