onlytobenormal | hitting the road [whatheneeds]

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hitting the road [whatheneeds]

[Really, Sam didn't know how long this could actually last. Dad wasn't an idiot and... eventually, he'd have to figure out what was going on, he'd catch up to them. In the mean time though? Sam had actually felt more at ease than he had in awhile since his change. He wasn't alone, nor was he faced with spending eternity with other vampires who he couldn't trust.

He had Dean... and Dean might resent him one day for this, hate him, but right now... well, he'd take the company.

He headed out of the gas station, pocketing the change for now as he looked over to where Dean was filling up the car.]

So, where are we heading? Or are we just driving as far away from Dad as we can?

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[Dean was adjusting better than he would have expected to the whole being a vampire thing. Sure, he was a little more ADD than usual, and weirdly a little more cuddly but other than that he was still kind of the same. And there was the part where he wanted to bite any human he saw. He knew it was bad, but every so often he'd forget why, thankfully Sam was there to remind him. He leaned back against the car while the gas was being pumped, enjoying the smell of gadoline]. I'd say getting as far away from where dad might be is the best choice.

[It wasn't always easy reminding Dean why he couldn't go around biting people... mostly because he fought with the same thing everyday. He figured they could both help the other keep their humanity though... keep their heads on straight. He licked his lips absently, going to lean next to Dean as he gave a nod.] Yeah, you're right. How long do you think we'll be able to run from him?

Well we don't have to run long, the way Dad lives? 15 years tops . [Hd shrugged and reached to pull the nozzle out of the car, then stopped realizing what he said. He shook his head]. That....didn't come out right. I mean...sorry

[That got him to pause, eyes going slightly wide. It wasn't... well, Dean didn't usually say stuff like that, not about Dad.] ... Right. [He managed a slightly stiff smile.] C'mon, we should hit the road.

I didn't mean that....fuck I don't know what's going on with me lately [He shook his head, looking embarassed and confused]

It's nothing, Dean, don't worry about it. [He managed a smile, a little more natural, as he reached over to put his hand on his shoulder.] Just... have a lot on your mind right now or something. It's a big change.

I'm just fucking hungry...all the time, it's driving me nuts man [He shakes his head, taking in a shaking breathe]

I know, Dean, trust me... But what do you want to do about it? There's nothing. We can go find some animals or something if you need it that bad.

Animals taste like shit and it makes my stomach hurt. I don't know if we're meant to eat animals Sam..... [He didn't know how to explain it, it just didn't feel right. But the things that did feel right, that his body was telling him he needed made him want to cut his own head off]

(ooc: oh my god I'm so sorry! For some reason it'll never sent me a notif for this and Ive been so eaten by my new job so I haven't come check! So sorry!)

Dean, man... [He let out a sigh and moved to stand in front of Dean, studying him closely.]

You know what'll happen if we can't stick to this...

(ooc: No worries! It happens, haha ♥)

[Dean nodded, suddenly finding himself unable to look his brother in the eye]

Yeah Sammy...I know....

[And he did but...everything hurt. All the time. And he knew something so easy would take away all that pain. He shook his head a little, trying to distract himself. Those thoughts were becoming more and more frequent, he couldn't let himself become that]

[Sam let out a soft sigh and reached out to touch Dean's shoulder. He could feel it too. It hurt and animal blood was disgusting... Just awful.It kept them alive, but it wasn't what they were craving or what would make them feel healthy again.

Sam couldn't imagine his life spent like this forever and that scared the hell out of him.]

What are we going to do, Dean?

[He smiled weakly, still not looking up]. Don't ask me that question, you really won't like the answer...

It's not easy to live with, Dean, feeding on another- on a human. It's a person, not cattle. [He gave Dean a nudge and motioned to the car door.]

Come on, let's split. We need to get somewhere before sun up.

I know....I do, I just.... I haven't felt like myself since...ya know.

[He finally moved again, and headed for the drivers seat]. But...I mean there are bad people out there, right?

I know, Dean... I'm sorry.

[He should have thought about that before he turned Dean, before he decided to feed on him. God- he just hadn't wanted to be alone.]

Yeah, but- [He shrugged, looking down.] They're still people, right?

Yeah, yeah of coarse... [He nodded, averting his eyes again] I'm just saying...there are people out there worse than some of the monsters we've faced. Pedos or murderers or things like that, just like taking out any other monster, right?

[No, not right. Because they were still people. The part of himself that wasn't clouded by hunger screamed at the idea of hurting anybody, even scum like that] Nevermind...forget it... [He shook his head and slipped into the drivers seat]

[Sam settled in the passenger side, chewing his thumb nail as he sunk down. He felt restless and nervous, skittish because God- it was tempting. It was so tempting and so hard to say no.

Even if whatever human side of him was left screamed and twisted against the idea of hurting anybody.] Dean- maybe...

[He trailed off, shaking his head.]

Maybe what? [He looked at Sam out of the corner of his eye as he started up the car. Maybe they should off themselves? Maybe Sam shouldn't have turned him? Sam seemed so much more in control than he was, and he didn't know how to deal with that. This wasn't what he thought it would be like]

Maybe we should do it... [or off themselves or maybe Dean should just off him for doing this to him. Maybe he should have killed himself before seeing Dean, went to Dad first... but God, he'd missed his brother.

He slouched a little further, eyes downcast. He couldn't look at Dean an say all that.] Or whatever you want to do, Dean. You decide. Anything.

[The new part of him, the hungry part, perked up at his brother's words. He sat up in his seat and looked over at Sam, trying his best not to look relieved]

It'd just be a bad person, right? Just...just once, and we'll go from there. He wouldn't have to do it all the time, but it'll be safer this way. If we don't we'll just get hungrier and hungrier and might end up attacking somebody innocent.... [He flashed Sam a pleading look. He hoped his brother understood, he had to]

Yeah... [At this rate, it was true. Dean was getting harder to manage and Sam was slipping too. he finally forced himself to look over and meet Dean's eyes.]

Let's do it, Dean. We just- we have to find someone we know for sure... there can't be any doubts.

[Dean nodded and started up the car. It was too late to do anything about it tonight, so he was going to spend another day hungry]

I'll let you figure it out, okay? So you'll know for sure. We could check news papers, or police records or something...

[He shrugged as he pulled out of the station and started heading towards the nearest town for a motel to hide in for the day.]

Yeah, okay... When we wake up, I'll get on it, okay?

[This was wrong... so wrong. They shouldn't even be considering it, but Sam didn't know what else to do. There wasn't a compromise here, they were starving.]

Let's just get some rest tonight.

Good plan [He sped up a little bit, feeling the tingling on his skin he was starting to learn was like a built in alarm clock that he should head towards cover in the next hour or so]

This...this will be good, okay Sam? Cause I can't keep going like this. You at least got one actual meal, I've been starving for almost a week now. And cold...I'm fucking cold all the time. How do vamps deal with this? How do they not just off themselves? [His hands tightened on the steering wheel, gritting his teeth. He was never good at denying himself things that felt good, especially food and that was all he'd done since he'd turned]

hitting the road [whatheneeds]

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