this was always built to crash [for samefivealbums]

[onlytobenormal]

Sam hadn't been gone an hour and that alone should alert Dean to something being wrong. Today should have been a long one--full of late classes and maybe meeting with friends after and getting in just in time to see his big brother off in time for work. Maybe give him something more than just a goodbye kiss, if they were both feeling up for it.

But it wasn't the case today. Sam was running in the front door, slamming it shut behind him. He looked breathless and flushed, like he'd been running and wide-eyed... maybe even scared. He didn't know if Dean would be awake or still resting up before work, but maybe the ruckus would have startled him. Either way, plans had changed, things had gone to shit like he'd feared they would right from the start.

Maybe he'd cry if every instinct in him wasn't screaming to run, to hide, and maybe to protect his big brother, protect them. Oh god, they'd need protecting too.

"Dean!" he called out, moving towards the bedroom. "Dean, we need to talk, now."

God, what were they going to do... this was so bad.

Everyone... God, everyone he knew and even people he didn't-- they knew. They knew and there was everything from disgust to filthy comments that had his stomach turning to... oh god, just everything. Even offers to help him get help of some kind to questioning if Dean was making him do this somehow because who could possibly fuck their own sibling willingly--which nearly got him to lose his temper.

That's when he left.

But that wasn't even the end more disturbing news. There was so much more than that.

Comments

[onlytobenormal]

"You don't have to fix it, Dean." he curled in a little tighter when Dean pulled the covers up, tangled in closer. "It's okay."

He wished he could believe that. Didn't even feel real... it hadn't sunk in just yet. "Just get some sleep, Dean. Please."

[samefivealbums]

"Alright." He was exhausted and he'd feel kind of crappy for doing it, but if Sam wanted him to sleep, he would. He closed his eyes and nuzzled in against his brother with a sigh. "Love you, Sammy."

In just a few minutes, he was drifting off.

[onlytobenormal]

"Love you too..." Honestly? He was kind of glad for Dean going to sleep. It gave him some time to himself, to just let it sink in, to work it out... anything. God. He didn't know what to do.

He let Dean drift off, stayed close to him for now. Maybe in a few hours, he'd slip out for some dinner or something if Dean didn't wake up on his own.

[samefivealbums]

Dean was more than ready for some sleep. He sank into a deep sleep, holding onto Sam the whole time. It wasn't entirely peaceful. His subconscious was still buzzing with the stress and guilt of the situation, and his dreams were all broken up and distorted.

[onlytobenormal]

Eventually, Sam eased away from Dean. He hadn't been able to sleep at all and just laying there stewing was driving him crazy. Especially when he could tell Dean wasn't exactly sleeping well. Taking a moment, he brushed his fingers through the other's hair, trying to sooth him a little.

Grabbing dinner it was then. Not that he was particularly hungry, but some fresh air'd be good. Easing to his feet, he grabbed the keys and headed for the door. Wasn't going to be gone long--he'd seen some drive-thru joints around here that'd do fine.

[samefivealbums]

Not long after Sam left, Dean woke disoriented. This wasn't their bed. Not their home. For one crazy minute, he wasn't sure where he was or what happened. Then he had a puppy in his face and things started to come back to him. Fuck. "Sam?"

No answer. He shook off the urge to worry and huddled back down under the covers with Ozzy curled up beside him. Sam would be back. He probably just needed to blow off some steam.

[onlytobenormal]

If Sam had intended to leave, he definitely wouldn't have left his things and taken the Impala. That would be like asking for double the ass kicking if Dean tracked him down, taking his baby. He did let himself drive around for a little bit, trying to clear his head before finally deciding on a place to grab a couple burgers.

After that, he headed back and was stepping through the door to their room, carrying a bag. "Dean? Got some dinner."

[samefivealbums]

Dean didn't think that clearly first thing on waking. All he noted was Sam wasn't there. It helped to see the puppy, though. Even if Sam left Dean, he wouldn't leave Ozzy!

He rolled onto his back and sat up, rubbing his eyes as Sam came through the door. "Hey, thanks. Smells good."

[onlytobenormal]

Definitely couldn't leave Ozzy behind... Kinda worried Dean would feed him nothing but table scraps and treats. "Just some burgers. Not a lot here in this place to choose from, you know?"

He went to set the bag on the table, smiling when Ozzy came rushing over, sniffing excitedly. Yeah, okay, he knew it was dinner time now.

[samefivealbums]

Dean stayed where he was a moment and watched Ozzy do his please-give-me-food dance around Sam's feet. It always made him grin. That dog? Best idea he'd had in a while.

He climbed out of bed and padded over to his brother, wrapping his arms around him for a moment. "Still. I appreciate you picking up dinner. I'm kinda starving."

[onlytobenormal]

Okay, so it was hard to do say no to that. The minute he had his burger out and the wrapper pulled back, he ended up pinching off a little bite to give Ozzy. Sam would definitely agree on the good idea thing--really had a soft spot for that dog.

When Dean's arms came around him, he offered up a quiet smile. "No problem, Dean. Figured you would be." He moved to take a seat then, getting comfortable.

[samefivealbums]

Dean stooped to give Ozzy a good neck scratch before he took his seat and started opening his burger. The puppy got a bite of his, too, before he dug in himself. He hadn't gotten to eat after work last night and drove through the day. Man, he was starving.

While he ate, he stretched his feet out under the table and rested them against Sam's.

[onlytobenormal]

He paused when he felt Dean's feet against his. He nudged one of his against Dean's affectionately as he ate Didn't think he'd be so hungry, but right now? Felt like he was starving.

He was quiet as he ate, maybe just trying to put off the inevitable what do we do now conversation. They'd need to figure it out soon, probably. "How'd you sleep?"

[samefivealbums]

"Could'a been better." He shrugged and reached for a french fry. Truthfully, he felt like he hadn't slept at all. The sleep had been disrupted by weird images and voices. Well, partly. One face and voice had been perfectly clear.

"You get any?"

[onlytobenormal]

Well, since Dean answered truthfully--"Not really, no." He put the empty wrapper his burger came in in the bag before reaching for his fries to finish off. "Figure I'll try again in a minute."

[samefivealbums]

Dean nodded. He hadn't really expected Sam to sleep. Not after the day he'd had. Figured his brother would just crash eventually and sleep whether he liked it or not.

He finished off his burger and shared his fries with Ozzy, tossing one down every once in a while to watch him do his impression of a fuzzy alligator. "After we eat, I'll take Ozzy out for his walk. You wanna come or try your sleep again?"

[onlytobenormal]

"Think I'll just stay in, man..." He tossed a fry to Ozzy before putting the rest of his trash in the bag and standing up. He reached up to tug his jacket off, followed by his shirt.

"Might get in the shower or something while you're gone."

[samefivealbums]

"Okay. We won't be long. Just want to let him stretch his legs some." And maybe not piss on the carpet. The motel would probably appreciate that.

Dean got to his feet and gathered up the trash to deposit in the can outside. No sense in letting the room smell like grease all night. On his way to grab the leash for Ozzy, he paused to kiss Sam softly. "I already showered, so take as long as you want. Don't worry about the hot water."

[onlytobenormal]

"Alright..." He leaned in to return the kiss quickly. "See you soon, Dean."

And while Dean handled the walk, Sam gathered some clothes and went to take a long, hot shower. He was kind of looking forward to curling up in bed after--hopefully with Dean. If sleep would come, that'd be great... little bit exhausted after all this crap. Little might have been an understatement.

After his shower, he stepped out of the bathroom in boxers and a shirt, more than ready to settle in bed and get some rest.

[samefivealbums]

Dean and Ozzy returned not long after Sam emerged from his shower. Dean took off the harness and leash, made sure the puppy had fresh water and food, then stripped down to his boxers to climb into bed with Sam.

He curled up, tangling their limbs together, and nuzzled in against Sam. "Think you can sleep now?"

[onlytobenormal]

Sam settled in against Dean comfortably, arms settling around him, letting his eyes drift shut. "Mm, maybe. Gonna try at least."

He nuzzled at the other, hands smoothing down his back absently. "Know where we're going tomorrow?"

[samefivealbums]

"No idea. Figured we could get up in the morning, after some sleep, and look at some maps or something. Try to decide." He shrugged. "I mean, we could try Bobby's, but we'd have to explain why we're there with the dog and all our stuff."

[onlytobenormal]

"Yeah, okay..." Tomorrow sounded good. Hopefully they'd be able to think a little clearer. "Mm, yeah... though any of our secrets would make it kinda hard to stay, you know? Telling people you've been hunting monsters your whole life tends to get funny looks too, I'd imagine... not just--you know, sex with your brother." But he wasn't really in the mood to tell any more lies right now anyway... and last thing he wanted was Bobby finding out about the sex-with-Dean thing right now.

[samefivealbums]

"We'll figure something out." He held Sam a little closer and rubbed his hands in slow circles on his brother's back. "Try to get some sleep, Sammy. It's been a long day."

[onlytobenormal]

"Okay, Dean..." He tried to do like Dean said and close his eyes. Eventually, he did drift off too, after the exhaustion caught up with him. He curled in tight against Dean, arm staying around him, his sleep not particularly restful or peaceful like it's been recently.