onlytobenormal | I don't know how to let you go [For whatheneeds

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I don't know how to let you go [For whatheneeds

_{[Dean needed the sleep. He deserved it, so Sam hadn't come back to the motel room that night. He'd found another place to wait out the day, get some rest himself. He came back that night though... couldn't stay away. What he should have done was get out as fast as he could, as far away from Dean so he didn't have to follow him, could forget about him eventually... maybe.

But he didn't do that.

He checked around to make sure Dad's truck wasn't anywhere to be seen before he went to check the door, tapping on it to be let in. Figured Dean'd be locked up and he didn't want to break in if Dean was there tonight.]

((Continued from here!))}

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No! No it doesn't bother me, it's just...weird. [And now he's back to staring[. So that means no pulse, like if I put my hand over your heart...nothing?

_{[He rolled his eyes, smiling a little bit.]} You can test it out if you want, but... I am a vampire, dude.

[And he did try it, awkward as it was. Even through Sams shirt dean could feel how cold his brother was, and just like he thought, nothing. He just stared at his own hand, trying to hold back tears at the proof of what he already knew. His brother was technically dead, ge was hanging out with a corpse]

_{[It was a little awkward, but Sam shrugged it off as best as he could, letting Dean press his hand to his palm. It wasn't until he saw that look on his face that he frowned a little, slowly reaching down to place one of his hands over Dean's on his chest.]} Dean...?

[He snapped out of it a little and looked up at Sam with almost frightened eyrs]. We're not even the same species now Sammy. Fuck, we're supposed to stick together. I let you go out on your own and you died! [he could feel his own heart pounding in his chest but Sam's remained stoll]

_{[He could hear it. He could hear Dean's heart pounding and awkward and weird as it was, he scooted closer to sling an arm around Dean in a half-hug.]} It wasn't your fault, Dean... I shouldn't- I should've known better. I was an idiot. It was my fault, okay?

[he just shook his head but let himself be pulled closer].we're still family though right? Even if we're different, even if I gotta grow up, we're still brothers...

Don't say stupid things, Dean... of course we are. We're always going to be brothers.... right? _{[He looked up, frowning and worried.]} You said I'm still Sam to you, didn't you?

[of course he was still Sam, but they were so different now, he didn't want to get left behind. He weakly tried to pull his hand back, looking anywhere but at Sam. He knew how he could fix it, but he couldn't do it]. Tell me I shouldn't let you do it. Tell me being like you is the worst fucking idea I ever had, okay?

_{[Sam let his hand go when he pulled it back, looking down at those words.]} Don't do that, Dean, not after what I told you I was thinking about earlier... it isn't fair.

Yeah well I'm thinking about it too....and one of us needs to be there to tell the other it's a bad idea. Right now it's your turn.

It doesn't... it doesn't have to be tonight. You could- think about it. Or something. _{[God, he kind of wanted to jump on this, so bad. He wanted to tell Dean that it was a good idea, that they could be together until- until forever. until they got tired of it.]}

Sam I've been thinking about it and it would fix a lot of our problems...it could also be a huge mistake...just tell me no, okay?

_{[Sam shrugged, helplessly. What the hell could he do? Dean was telling him what to say, so all he could manage out was a weak sigh and an event softer answer.]} No...

And if I ask, you won't do it..okay? Cause I know it's wrong but I'm getting desperate here Sam and the idea keeps looking better and better.

Dean, please... _{[How was he supposed to promise something like that? When he was just as desperate...]}

Please what? Sam I don't know what to do, I just want us to save a family.

I don't know... Dean, don't- don't trust me like that. Not when I want to do something to you, not when I barely have any control. I can't promise I won't do it if you ask me and mean it, Dean, so please...

_{[He was crying again and he couldn't stop it. God, he was scared and worried that- this wouldn't work out, that Dean would come to his senses and leave him. He could go be normal, as normal as they ever were anyway. He didn't have to put up with this.]}

Hey shhh [He pulled Sam close into a hug, trying to keep himself from crying]. I won't ask, okay? I might want to, but I wont.

I hate this so much... I want to be human again, Dean.

I know, but you can't. Look I'm sorry, okay? I won't mention it again, just forget it.

It's not your fault... _{[He sniffed, burying his face into the other's neck, lingering there for a minute.]} It's just so much to deal with. I thought I was a freak before, but at least I had you, man. You got it, you had my back and now... I'm alone and I'm gonna be alone one day.

Don't say that shit Sam, please [he raised a hand up to cradle the back of the taller man's head]. I just Saudi wasn't gonna mention it anymore and then you say stuff like that, come on man...

M'sorry. _{[He sniffed, starting to try and pull away.]} I'll shut up... just tired, Dean.

No it's okay, I'm just trying not to mention it [He keeps Sam right where he is, tightening his arms around him]

I don't know how to let you go [For whatheneeds

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