I don't know how to let you go [For whatheneeds

[onlytobenormal]

<sub>[Dean needed the sleep. He deserved it, so Sam hadn't come back to the motel room that night. He'd found another place to wait out the day, get some rest himself. He came back that night though... couldn't stay away. What he should have done was get out as fast as he could, as far away from Dean so he didn't have to follow him, could forget about him eventually... maybe.

But he didn't do that.

He checked around to make sure Dad's truck wasn't anywhere to be seen before he went to check the door, tapping on it to be let in. Figured Dean'd be locked up and he didn't want to break in if Dean was there tonight.]

((Continued from here!))</sub>

Comments

[whatheneeds.livejournal.com]

Its not about wanting to stay with you, you know I do...it's about all the other shit. Now I'll say it again, if I stay will you promise not to hurt yourself? [he looked up at him, begging him to just stop]

[onlytobenormal]

What if I hurt you? I couldn't live with myself... and either way, if you stay, dude, you're gonna end up resenting me for it.

[whatheneeds.livejournal.com]

You won't hurt me, I trust you. [he got to his feet and slowly walked over to Sam until they were inches from each owther]. I can't go out and leave you if there's a chance you'll hurt yourself. No way. I wouldn't be able to keep going after that.

[onlytobenormal]

I don't trust myself. _{[His breath hitched a little at that. Dean wasn't going to let him do this... wasn't going to let him end it.]} I won't hurt myself, alright?

[whatheneeds.livejournal.com]

If you off yourself I'll do the same, understand? [he took a deep breathe and grabbed his duffel, deciding to just give in]. You ready to head out?

[onlytobenormal]

Dean, that's not fair. You're not like me. _{[He huffed softly, shaking his head.]} You don't have to go with me. It's not like I can do anything anyway... not with you making threats like that.

[whatheneeds.livejournal.com]

What I can't go all of a sudden cause I'm not a part of the cool vampire club? Too bad, now are we going tonight or not? If you wanna stay here we either gotta get another room or you gotta get in the mood to cuddle. [Ge smiled as if nothing was wrong, because that's what he was good at, denial]

[onlytobenormal]

Dean... dammit. _{[He moved in closer to the other, grabbing at his arm.]} Stop it. Please...

[whatheneeds.livejournal.com]

What? [He didn't bother to try to pull his arm away]. Whats wrong now?

[onlytobenormal]

Why are you changing your mind? I already told you I wouldn't kill myself, even if you go. You're not letting me.

[whatheneeds.livejournal.com]

Well I don't trust you, what's the problem? We're sticking together, what else do you want me to do Sam? Just tell me.

[onlytobenormal]

If you're going to kill yourself, I'm not going to do it no matter how much I want to. _{[His shoulders slumped a little and his eyes fell to the ground. They were stinging and he was trying hard to not cry.]} Nothing... I'm not asking you to do anything. Where are we going anyway?

[whatheneeds.livejournal.com]

It's up to you big guy. How are you feeling? You hungry? I don't wanna start looking like a snack [He laughed weakly]

[onlytobenormal]

No, I'm not, Dean. _{[He wasn't in much of a joking mood right now. Dean was sticking around and maybe he should feel better about it, he'd gotten what he'd wanted earlier. But now he was worried... worried Dean was going to end up hating him or he'd end up hurting him, turning him. Something.]} I don't care what we do...

[whatheneeds.livejournal.com]

Ok look if I have to listen to you brooding for the next forty years I'm gonna get bored quick. Just...relax, alright?

[onlytobenormal]

I'm not brooding! This isn't brooding, Dean... _{[He let out a huff and nodded slowly.]} Are you tired or anything? Go ahead and get some sleep. I'll stay.

[whatheneeds.livejournal.com]

No way, I slept most of the day...and I made the mistake of trusting you about that before. [He sighed heavily, trying to figure out what the fuck to do] Look, about all this...I don't know if it helps, but if this makes you feel any better I did consider you turning me ya know. I mean how could I not? That way it could be you and me forever...I just couldn't. But I don't want you thinking you're a monster for thinking about it, alright?

[onlytobenormal]

_{[That got a watered down glare, but he kept his mouth shut arguing it.]} No, alright. Just the fact that I need blood to survive makes me a monster.

[whatheneeds.livejournal.com]

Fine, then you're my monster...okay?

[onlytobenormal]

_{[He snorts at that.]} You do realize how fucked up it is for a hunter to say that, right?

[whatheneeds.livejournal.com]

Yeah...well...looks like I'm not as a good of a hunter as I thought. [He shrugged and smiled at Sam]

[onlytobenormal]

_{[Sam eased in a little closer, reaching out to touch his shoulder lightly, looking down.]} Dean, you know, you really don't have to follow me. I don't want to be a burden on you or make you change your whole life around... I'm really not going to kill myself.

[whatheneeds.livejournal.com]

This is going to sound pathetic...mostly because it is, but I don't have much of a life that doesn't involve you. [He looks down, really uncomfortable] I don't know if this is a good idea...I don't know what I should do, and you don't know what I should do...so for right now I'm sticking around.

[onlytobenormal]

_{[That gets Sam to curl in a little further, wrapping his arms around Dean tightly and drawing him in for a hug, burying his face against his shoulder.]} No matter how much I think you should stay away from me... you're all I got, Dean. I don't want to lose that too.

[whatheneeds.livejournal.com]

I know Sam [He let himself be pulled into the hug and wrapped his arms tightly around the younger man] I never wanna have to leave you, you know that.