onlytobenormal | I don't know how to let you go [For whatheneeds

No, it's not. [That's why he hadn't wanted to say anything. He let himself slip down the wall until he was sitting on the floor, drawing his knees up a little.

Only way to make Dean see? was probably to be honest here, as honest as he could be even if he didn't want to.] I keep thinking about making you like me, you know. I know that's unfair and you'd hate me for it... it's selfish, but I've been thinking about it anyway. That's why you're probably right in wanting to stay away from me and why you can't say I'm good. I'm not. And who knows what I'm going to become.

Edited 2012-03-14 05:53 (UTC)

[His eyes widened, trying to wrap his head around what Sam was saying. He couldnt let him do that, he couldn't stand himself if he became one of the things he hunted. Still...he couldn't say that wouldn't solve a lot of his problems. Sam and him would be equal...he wouldn't get le behind.

He quickly shook his head when he realized exactly what he was considering]. It's...I cant Sam. But that doesn't make you a monster for thinking bout it. If I were in your position? I probably would have thought about the same thing.

Dean, stop it. You know as well as I do if it was anyone else saying this, you'd kill them. [He was getting agitated now.] I'm a monster, Dean, and I should be hunted down... what makes me any different from anything else we've killed? And maybe I don't want to do this forever, Dean.

Edited 2012-03-14 06:04 (UTC)

Yeah but you're not anybody, you're Sam and that makes you different than anything we would fight. You don't want to hurt anybody. [he sighed and out his head down in his hands, resisting the urge to crumbled]. If...if I stay will you promise not to hurt yourself? [he knew this might ruin his life but if it kept Sam safe...he'd do it]

You're being an idiot, Dean. It doesn't matter.... _{[If he was Sam or not. He got it though. He wouldn't have been able to do it if things were reversed...]}

I didn't tell you that to make you stay, Dean. You don't want to stay with me, so don't do me any favors.

Its not about wanting to stay with you, you know I do...it's about all the other shit. Now I'll say it again, if I stay will you promise not to hurt yourself? [he looked up at him, begging him to just stop]

What if I hurt you? I couldn't live with myself... and either way, if you stay, dude, you're gonna end up resenting me for it.

You won't hurt me, I trust you. [he got to his feet and slowly walked over to Sam until they were inches from each owther]. I can't go out and leave you if there's a chance you'll hurt yourself. No way. I wouldn't be able to keep going after that.

I don't trust myself. _{[His breath hitched a little at that. Dean wasn't going to let him do this... wasn't going to let him end it.]} I won't hurt myself, alright?

If you off yourself I'll do the same, understand? [he took a deep breathe and grabbed his duffel, deciding to just give in]. You ready to head out?

Dean, that's not fair. You're not like me. _{[He huffed softly, shaking his head.]} You don't have to go with me. It's not like I can do anything anyway... not with you making threats like that.

What I can't go all of a sudden cause I'm not a part of the cool vampire club? Too bad, now are we going tonight or not? If you wanna stay here we either gotta get another room or you gotta get in the mood to cuddle. [Ge smiled as if nothing was wrong, because that's what he was good at, denial]

Dean... dammit. _{[He moved in closer to the other, grabbing at his arm.]} Stop it. Please...

What? [He didn't bother to try to pull his arm away]. Whats wrong now?

Why are you changing your mind? I already told you I wouldn't kill myself, even if you go. You're not letting me.

Well I don't trust you, what's the problem? We're sticking together, what else do you want me to do Sam? Just tell me.

If you're going to kill yourself, I'm not going to do it no matter how much I want to. _{[His shoulders slumped a little and his eyes fell to the ground. They were stinging and he was trying hard to not cry.]} Nothing... I'm not asking you to do anything. Where are we going anyway?

It's up to you big guy. How are you feeling? You hungry? I don't wanna start looking like a snack [He laughed weakly]

No, I'm not, Dean. _{[He wasn't in much of a joking mood right now. Dean was sticking around and maybe he should feel better about it, he'd gotten what he'd wanted earlier. But now he was worried... worried Dean was going to end up hating him or he'd end up hurting him, turning him. Something.]} I don't care what we do...

Ok look if I have to listen to you brooding for the next forty years I'm gonna get bored quick. Just...relax, alright?

I'm not brooding! This isn't brooding, Dean... _{[He let out a huff and nodded slowly.]} Are you tired or anything? Go ahead and get some sleep. I'll stay.

No way, I slept most of the day...and I made the mistake of trusting you about that before. [He sighed heavily, trying to figure out what the fuck to do] Look, about all this...I don't know if it helps, but if this makes you feel any better I did consider you turning me ya know. I mean how could I not? That way it could be you and me forever...I just couldn't. But I don't want you thinking you're a monster for thinking about it, alright?

_{[That got a watered down glare, but he kept his mouth shut arguing it.]} No, alright. Just the fact that I need blood to survive makes me a monster.

Fine, then you're my monster...okay?

_{[He snorts at that.]} You do realize how fucked up it is for a hunter to say that, right?

I don't know how to let you go [For whatheneeds

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