onlytobenormal | I don't know how to let you go [For whatheneeds

Yeah? You fed on animals last night? [That got a smile out of him, weak as it was] God Sammy, that's great.

Yeah... [He was smiling too now, just a little. He couldn't exactly be too glad or relieved when Dean was going to leave and most likely, not come back.] So I guess that solves one of my problems...

Sam....I wanna stay with you, you know that but I dont know how it could work....I'm sorry. I'll come see you all the time.... [He'd practiced what he was going to say but it was still hard to go the words out. He was tempted to say fuck it and stay, but he knew ge shouldnt]

Yeah? How are you going to do that, Dean? _{[He snorts.]} I gotta keep moving and it's going to be too risky to contact you. You know that. Besides, even if that wasn't the case... Dad would be too suspicious if you slipped off to the same area all the time.

Sam...I get the feeling dad won't want me around too much longer. He blames me for you being gone, he barely looks at me and I can't tell him what really happened.

It's not your fault, Dean. _{[He shrugged.]} So, what. You're going to go off by yourself?

[he sighed and ran a hand through his hair]. Not a fan of the idea but yeah I guess, till I figure out what I'm gonna do. I'll keep you in the loop though, I still don't wanna loose you Sam.

Why can't you come with me, Dean? It's not fair... you're seriously blowing me off because I thought you deserved sleep? I told you it wouldn't happen again...

No Sam its all this shit, when it comes down to it ylife is just gonna be hard. I sleep at night, you sleep in the day, I age, you don't. It's just a fucked up situation Sam and you know it.

_{[That gets a glare out of him.]} Exactly, it's fucked up and nothing I wanted, Dean. I didn't ask for this... but it's not like we're not used to hard, right? Or messed up. That's basically our whole lives!

You know I don't blame you for this! I just don't know how this is suppose to work. [his gaze shifted to the floor, he couldn't look Sam in the eye right now]

We could find a way to make it work out, Dean... but it doesn't sound like you really want to. And that's fine, whatever. I don't really blame you.

How? Seriously if you have an idea I'm all ears Sam. [he put his duffel on the ground next to him and waited for an answe]

Just come with me, Dean... you could at least try before deciding. If it doesn't work out, then- then you go. I won't bother you.

I'm gomna have to start sleeping during the day or we'll never even see each other, you get that right? [he looked around, getting nervous. He couldnt give in]

_{[Sam couldn't help it, it felt like a punch to the gut... he should have known this would happen.]} You know what? Whatever, Dean. I said I got it... So why don't you just say it, you're not comfortable around a monster?

_{[Dean could argue he was the same all he wanted, that he was just Sam, but... he wasn't. Dean had to be seeing that, right? Sam had seen it every damn day and night.]}

What?! Sam that's not what I'm saying! You're still you, you're still good. I'm not talking about anything like that,I'm saying logistically this situation is fucked. I'm always gonna slow you don't, hold you back from stuff and you can say I won't or that it doesn't matter....and it might not matter today, but what about in twenty or thirty years?

I'm not- _{[He wasn't entirely good. If he was, he wouldn't have fed on people, he wouldn't be thinking that it would be easier to turn Dean, that he could keep him that way.

That was beyond selfish and he knew it.]} Then... I don't know, Dean. You'll still be my brother and you're all I really have left right now. I don't have school, I don't have normal... I can't even hunt like this. Dad would kill me if he ever sees me again, so I don't even have him either.

Dean, I'm not even going to ever look older than this either. I'm stuck. What am I supposed to do?

I don't know but having me here won't fix you, and it'll only be a temporary thing cause....I'm temporary. [He didn't nt to become an old man while Sam stayed the same, it would be too weird]. Look I don't wanna be alone either, which is why we're still gonna be in each others lives.

_{[It was too tempting to cling and beg or... worse. He took a step back, looking down.]} I don't know, Dean...

Sam... [he took a step towards his brother, unsure of what to say. He didn't know what the hell the right thing was, be just didn't want to see Sam in pain]

_{[He backed up another step, shaking his head.]} Maybe I should go... _{[He'd hoped that Dean'd be leaving with him tonight, that he wouldn't be facing this crap alone, but that had been pretty stupid of him...]}

Do you still... do you have my stuff? I'd like to get some of my clothes, maybe some of my books at least.

Sam just...stop for a second. Fuck! [this was ridiculous, he couldn't say he was gonna leave then try to stop Sam from taking off]. I just don't know what to do Sam...I'm so sorry....

I don't know what to do either, Dean. _{[But he'd already been over killing himself or tracking Dad down and Dean hadn't wanted either of those... maybe it was for the best if Dean wasn't with him. He couldn't really stop him from doing either that way at least.]} It's not your fault.

Sam you gotta be honest with me, if Ito will you kill yourself? [The idea of it made his voice tremble slightly when he asked the question]

I don't know how to let you go [For whatheneeds

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